whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
