Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
