return my video game
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
