I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
