On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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