Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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