Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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