guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
