just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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