Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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