If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
