Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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