farters have to be the big spoon...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
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