Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
