Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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