i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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