Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
