how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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