She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
