the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
