john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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