She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How does one acquire holy water?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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