I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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