Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
