Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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