If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
