There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
did i just pee glitter
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