If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
