Whod you bang
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize