I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
