where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
