the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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