How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
