That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
