Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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