Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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