After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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