I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize