Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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