Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
