I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
