Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry corinneisme hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(347): View more from New York

you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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(360): View more from Washington

I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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(951): View more from California

I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to

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(609): View more from New Jersey

friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?

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(440): View more from Ohio

Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"

(1-440): View more from Ohio

Perfectly normal.

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(817): View more from Texas

I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...

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(870): View more from Arkansas

if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.

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