so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Text me some of your sweat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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