you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
