He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
