Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
