i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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