me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
