yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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