I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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