i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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