no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
