so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
