I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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