Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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