For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
