did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
