is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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