dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
