well you can't waste a boner
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
