2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
