He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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