u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
